When
you think that you are deserve to get “something you want”
“If I
have a child someday ,,, I want to tell her/him that there is always someone
that better them her/him on the other places, I want to treat her/him to be confidence
of who they are too #yourmomma”
Gila banget gue yak!
We are as a human sometime and almost every time wanting a
better things in our life, and so am I. On my age today, I want to able to
supporting my own self as much as I can. As a student of a collage I do many
effort, I do fight, I do doing my effort even with my tears. As I can remember,
I have followed 5 private scholarships, and this night when I write this I just
known that I am fail to get it on the last test. I don’t mind to write how
desperate and how sad I am right now, but I just could not understand why I can
even handle my own feeling.
I do understand this sentence below:
“fail is a denied success, or you don’t have to be sad
because you are fail to get what you want, God have a better plan for you. Or this
one maybe you are the reason why the door is close to lead you to a better
place. Or even this one keep fighting, don’t give up, there must be a better
thing for you”
What the hell is going on my brain right know to think this
one ,,, all of them just doing not more
than a prediction of a good thing that will happen to your life (but I know it’s
kind of a good pray with a a lot of good words). Fail is just a fail, it cannot
connected to the other things. You fight to get A and you fail, so the other
people who fight to it too success to get it. Then you lose it, A is A, it can’t
be replace by B or C or D even they are better than A. If we get better things,
I think it different, because we fight in a different time and ways. A is just
A . . . and somehow we cannot even handle how sad we are…
“I am sad not because I want to be sad, but it just a feeling
inside my chest that feel hurt, its true even I do not know how it works. It’s
like someone putting a knife and slices something close to your lungs so you
feel hard to breathe, but it’s not how it works. It just hurt…because I think I
am deserve enough to get what I want. Because I think I am better than anyone
who followed the test. But, the truth is I am not, I am not the one who deserves
it, at least the scholarship committee think like that.”
The problem is, will you accept it with all of your strength??
will you agree that you are not better than the people who are deserved to get
it? Will you just accept that you fail? Somehow to
believing the truth is the very hard part of failing. Still it’s a competition,
lose and win is really identic.
To learn to accept the way you are
and to learn to accept the truth somehow very important things, and we can't learn it instantly . . . it’s need time and more experience.
______________________***_______________________
Mungkin tulisan ini bisa lebih berkembang lagi, because it
still DANGKAL BANGETJ
