Be Thankful For You, Who Already Have a Kind Heart

Sometime I blame myself about why I do not born as a kind heart person?

Maybe it sounds strange for those who have a good and a kind personality, including a kind heart type of person. But, I think here is the biggest part of us that determined our behavior as also always we called as “heart”.

I don’t really sure where to start to talk about this, but absolutely everyone want to be treated as well as it could be. No one want to get a bad treat from other, we want everyone treat as nicely. And I believe that a good relation between human can be done by a good treatment of each other, as how greet each other every day with a nice and a wide smile, how we share our problem as good as how we share our happiness and also help each other, giving and creating a comfort world for everyone around us, and everyone will be happy and appreciate for our present around them. I even can’t imagine it perfectly how this world become when everyone have such a good heart and tolerance.

But here I find myself that are not in the right way, sometime when I start to remain all the thing that happen in all day, I always stand in the wrong way. How my ears hear a bad yelling about my self, how my head get kicked by another person because of my silly behavior, how my eyes wet because I regret about what have I done before, all of the emotional explosion that spread from all of the part of my body.

“This is about how I treat people.

This is about every each word that come out from my mouth.

This is about every single negative thing that my brain process about my opinion to another people.

This is about how I can’t even just hear an advice.

This is about how I think my self is the best and think that another people is worse than me.

This is about all the dam* thing I ever do to another people”

I realize that I have been HURTING a lot of people around me.

And I ask my self, Why I turn into a mean person?

They say, “Mean People Are Suck”, I am shocked that I ask my self again “do I am a suck too??”

Then I decide to trying to be a nice and a kind heart person, I even search and read many article about being a nice person, one of them is an article under a title “How to Stop being a Mean Person” then I ask my self again and again “Do I really read this article????”

But, the article are really positive.:)

And during all of the process, I find that trying to be a nice and a kind heart person is really hard “its not easy”, and I think the hardest part of this is DEFEAT OUR SELF.

Defeating our self means we are ready to losing our own comfort, we are ready to against our own will, we are ready to compromise .

And I guest that the best part of all of the process is to reach a point when we are happy to losing all of our comfort, losing here does not mean we are turning into a loser, but losing mean we are ready to be a nice person and be meaningful for the other.

And unfortunately, every time I about to reach that point, I always fall and crying, I am exploiting like a fire mount.

So, be happy and grateful for you that born to the world with a kind heart . . . Because its not easy to be like that, we need to defeat our self. . .

little star

I just like a little star,

A little star that confidence enough to think to beat the sun

I just like a small hill,

A small hill that confidence enough to rub the mountain

When the little star grumbling, when the small hill yelling

I know I am just a little star that shines as little dot in the night sky

I know I am just a small hill that never rubs the mountain

I just . . .

Just being like me . . .

Like a star . . .

Like a star that want to be special for the world as what I present to be now and next

BQ’s way

Sometime we even can't define who we are . . .

The Piece of Emotion

I find a deeply simple thing on how to carry on my life every day. Anger, high temper, sad, cry, feeling bad, bored, and everything that come to this life, that make someone go and stay in the bathroom for some minutes or take a bath 4 to 5 times a day . . . . T.T

When I read this in a blog of Ika Natassha, I think I will read it again and again . . . J

This is the words:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friends or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take lots of pictures, laugh a lot, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend in need, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, LIVE IN THE MOMENT because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back…

This is a good life . . .^_______^

The Piece of Emotion

When someone say something that so mean to you

I surely believe that no bodies perfect . . . we all are trying our best. But when someone says something so mean to you, it could be like something cold that frozen your heart for a moment when you hear that.  And that’s what I feel for a moment when someone say something so mean . . .

It could be when we are in the middle of a situation that we can’t control our own self, so that the “word” is easily come out and spread like a soda to the entire corner in the room. I am as the one who have been treat like that feel like I can’t even  think for a moment because of my brain suddenly feel like “something stop it work”.  A few words that hurt and slide your heart into pieces for that moment, and make you feel like a “statue”. And suddenly you feel like you are the worst person in the world, something that you try to feel it fine but it just spread out like a butterfly that come out from a bottle and fly away, which is no one can control it and it sake the bad side and the sensitive side of what a black mark of you life.

Well, the “word” could be something that you don’t like, something negative from your life, something that you try to hide from your self, something that you try to make it something normal but it surely “not normal” , something that you accept as the way of your life that you are push for it ( I mean you just accept it because you can’t do anything else), or something that make you as the saddest person in the world and you try to adaptation with that. Okay, its all are “sad” thing but you surely wont someone say it to you directly, want you?

But it could be something good too, for a moment we hear that and we surely react with that. We feel just how misery is our life? And could we ask our self to be better? Or we will let the ego suddenly in a high tension, well no one like it . . . including me . . . J

Hmm . . . . for a moment in that situation I realize that “the words” is relatively true but no one said to me except that the same words fly on my own brain, on my own imagination bout my life. And I tried to calm down and make it right and say “okay, I am the one on “that words” and also I believe that the person will not say it to me if they are not pushed to say it on that situation.

No bodies perfect . . . including me.